Weekend foliage.
It was a beautiful fall weekend in Tennessee, the leaves burning every possible color- including dark, dark purple.
Mallory was a vision in white and tulle- a beautiful, whipper-snapper, ceaselessly sassy bride. Seeing her say the magic words was sweeter than most magic words for their resonance. I know what it means to love your independence and enjoy being a mother and yet- still- hold out for a partner worth marrying rather than settling for something easy and more socially-acceptable than single motherhood.
I was the bridesmaid who never, ever, ever wanted to catch the bouquet. After every wedding, all I could think was "I don't ever want to be some man's wife." What I wanted was to be myself without having to account for all the ways in which I was different from other females or males in demographic category. When I finally decided to marry, it was not for a traditional dream of male-female hierarchy but for a thoroughly gender-flexible partnership between a person who happened to be a male and a person who happened to be a female both of whom- most importantly- happened to be human beings with their own hopes, dreams, fears, and ideals.
When Mallory's voice cracked as she said the magic words, I wanted to hug her and say- "This won't be the first time your voice will crack over those words- because they are not small words at all but big, massive, clumsy, impossible words that mean the world and reshape the world. I can't imagine saying them lightly. I can't imagine saying them without fear and trembling.
We basked in the free-flowing love around us. There was a tremendous amount of tenderness at the wedding this past weekend- tenderness between cousins and family members and strangers at the wine bar. It was cheesy and lovely and wonderful to witness. My hopes for Mallory and Kenny are tiny as a pinhead and wide as the moon- May their marriage remain a canvas they never tire of appending, painting, painting over and even re-painting should the need arise.
Flower-girls Gnome, Little J., and Prophet goof off as only cousins can do.
Now for serious faces.
The ring-bearer of the hour was Gabriel, whose shoes matched Kenny's.
